Asides

Write up the following for yourself.

1. Your tombstone inscription.
2. Your obituary.
3. A eulogy given at your funeral.
4. A reminiscence of you by someone five years after your death.
5. A speech given because something is being named after you.

For the last one think broadly. Many things can be named after someone: a room, building, or park; a library endowment, scholarship, prize, or event; an organization or job title; a species or breed, mineral, celestial body, or scientific principle. What would you want to have named for you? What would make you feel especially seen and appreciated?

Here are things you might wish to record in your journal as they happen, even if you are not keeping regular diary-style entries about your days.

1. Dreams or the impression/mood you woke up with – it can color your day even if you forget it right away.
2. Daydreams – they can be keys to understanding what you really want or need and what is missing in your life, or simply a window into how you are feeling (does stress make your daydreams turn into daymares?)
3. Overall mood of the day.
4. When others who play a major role in your life are especially happy or upset.
5. Significant decisions – what was the context, what factors seemed most important, what decision did you make and what outcomes do you expect? Come back in six months or a year and see how you did.
6. Gut feelings – did you follow them or go against them? Come back later and find out whether you should trust your gut more in certain areas or whether on some topics it’s actually your anxieties in disguise.
7. Times you experience surprise, in particular if it’s because of others’ reactions to something – could it be your expectations need tuning?
8. Feelings of especial happiness, pride, or fulfillment.
9. Times you realize you’ve been completely engrossed in an activity.
10. First impressions, especially if someone makes a great first impression – what was it about them?
11. Times you have a negative reaction to someone else’s actions, especially if they would be surprised that you had reacted negatively. This is to look back at for patterns, to figure out what is actually bothering you and either learn how to not be bothered by it, or be able to ask for different behavior from the other person specifically and with a reason.

Small talk is to conversation with new people what a warmup is to exercise: it’s not the point, and you don’t want to spend an excessive amount of time on it, but if you skip it you’re more likely to have a bad experience with the main event.

1. Prepare descriptions of your work, hobbies, and family/living situation that are suitable for any audience. (Clearly only the parts you’d be interested in discussing!)
2. Write about what kind of first impression you’d like to make. What would you like someone to say about you after the occasion? “That person seemed ___.” What attitude and actions would convey that impression?
3. Find a list online of conversation openers and prepare answers to them as you would for potential interview questions. Which such questions would you feel comfortable using? Can you come up with others?
4. If you are anticipating a specific event: Write about your relationship to the event. How are you connected to the host(s) or to other expected guests; have you been to past editions of the event or comparable other events? Do you know any related trivia that others might find interesting?