Small talk is to conversation with new people what a warmup is to exercise: it’s not the point, and you don’t want to spend an excessive amount of time on it, but if you skip it you’re more likely to have a bad experience with the main event.
- Prepare descriptions of your work, hobbies, and family/living situation that are suitable for any audience. (Clearly only the parts you’d be interested in discussing!)
- Write about what kind of first impression you’d like to make. What would you like someone to say about you after the occasion? “That person seemed ___.” What attitude and actions would convey that impression?
- Find a list online of conversation openers and prepare answers to them as you would for potential interview questions. Which such questions would you feel comfortable using? Can you come up with others?
- If you are anticipating a specific event: Write about your relationship to the event. How are you connected to the host(s) or to other expected guests; have you been to past editions of the event or comparable other events? Do you know any related trivia that others might find interesting?
So the best tip I ever got about conversation was from our friend Lee, who was writing a book about food. Ask people a question about food in their life— their favorite meal, the most unusual food they ever tried, the first thing they ever tried to cook, etc. Food is something just about everybody cares about, and it a great way to open up a heartfelt discussion.